Still Can’t Play Open Mic…

Today Harrison has his fourth ABA therapy appointment at our house today. These women are amazing. He has such a great team of educators, and today he just wanted to nurse. So I left the room, which was kind of nice because here I am taking a mom break. I love writing these blogs. It allows me to vent, and venting is so good. Today I ate way too much sugar. I have failed my diet today, but I am human. I will get back on track. Lucas has ABA therapy downstairs. There are five cars in our driveway that are not ours. We have four vehicles of our own. There are five extra people in our house today. They all know not to come if they have signs of being sick, or if their family members at home are sick.

This is completely out of my control. I cannot inspect them for germs. Who knows where they were before they came into our home. Maybe they went to a coffee shop and touched a door handle, and then their faces. This is not in my control. I have to learn to let it go. At the same time, we must control what we can control. Harrison has shown true benefits from the ABA therapy already. It’s crazy seeing him have fun interacting with these girls. I couldn’t be more pleased. I also hear Lucas having fun downstairs with his two behavioral techs. It’s pretty awesome actually.

I gotta say though… As awesome as all of this is. Why the hell can I not go have a visit with my friend? OH, right. Risk vs. Benefit. That apparently doesn’t apply to us adults. I’m starting to lose my mind a little bit. Thank God I began songwriting again, and I have so many books to read. I have to actually begin doing more around here or I’m going to go nuts. It’s like sensory overload for me to have so many people in my home. Especially since I became a germaphobe. That was bound to happen living the transplant life.

Can we talk about how I can go back to work soon, at the YMCA. However I can’t go to a coffee shop? None of this is making sense, and I’m about to ask a thousand isolation related questions tomorrow in Boston. I already know the answers, but I want to make sense of them. It’s simply not fair. As I stamp my foot and shake my head, while pouting in the corner. What I want to do doesn’t matter, but what I need to do is okay. I’m learning. I’m starting to understand this “control only what you can control” mentality. It’s just stupid, and I feel the need to voice my opinion. [END RANT]

Thanks for listening. Harrison’s ABA time is almost up so I’m gonna wrap this up, and go snuggle and nurse my sweet little boy. I’m also going to drink like 5 waters to try to flush out the toxins of all the literal crap I ate this morning. Lost 7 pounds, then smashed pastries into my trap. Gonna have to workout hard today. On top of the errands, and childcare that I need to do. It’s okay, I’m only human. I can do this.

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