Sometimes it hurts, but it’s always better to know the truth. Yesterday was an eye opening journey for me. I chose to be honest, and express my feelings to a few people. I’m glad I was able to get out the things that I had been holding in for many weeks. It was hard to hear what one person had to say, but I expected it to be worse than it was. Honesty is always the best policy in life. I felt like three big weights were lifted off of my chest, and I could breathe more easily. Living with anxiety is hard. Yesterday I felt good.
Last night when I came home from work, I learned someone else’s truth that they had been holding in. While it was hard to hear, I appreciated this person’s honesty, and how they felt inside. I’m not an easy person to deal wth. I’m loud, obnoxious, and I’m super sarcastic. I am who I am, and I’ll never change. My personality may be hard to swallow for some, but others appreciate how candid I can be. I’m nothing but brutally honest, and up front as well. It is what it is. What you see is what you get with me. Change isn’t an option.
This morning brought a new change, and a new truth. My heart aches, and my mind is numb. I know that I’ll be okay, I always am. Sometimes I have to admit defeat. Before you go crazy wondering what happened, or if a relationship has ended… It hasn’t. Nor will I disclose the personal content of last night’s conversation, or who it was with. What I will say is that this brings a change that I wasn’t prepared for. I’m hurt, and I feel slightly disrespected. I am so in love, and my heart doesn’t know how to handle this situation. Not knowing what happens next it scary, but I refuse to be around those who don’t like, or understand me. Time to move on, again. However I’m still so incredibly attached and invested in this great love.
The reason why I chose to write this blog, is for myself. I find that expressing how I feel is therapeutic for me, and maybe someone else will realize how important it is to always be honest. No matter what.
“As I’m driving, I’m captured by the view. So much beauty, the road becomes my muse.”