Goodnight Baby…

Yesterday was hard for me. It started out with a fun shift at work, despite having to deal with laryngitis. When I got home, my husband had to leave for work, and Lucas was just acting out. I hate coming home to that. I just wish I could come home to a happy little boy who missed his Mama. Joey was enjoying her daytime slumber. We think she’s starting to take one big four hour nap during the day instead of two, two hour naps. Once Lucas and I were alone, things started to settle down. When he’s one on one, he’s usually fine.

We played games, and watched some of the new Star Wars movie. After Joey woke up again, we called Mummu back over to help Lucas make Joanna’s first birthday cake. Lucas had been looking forward to this for quite some time!! It was hard to hold his attention as usual, but he had fun nonetheless. Rachel has pinkeye so she really can’t be helping out with the kids so she spent her day upstairs in her room, also watching star wars.

Night time finally came. I was able to give Lucas his medicine, and his shot. He was not happy about that one bit. It truly doesn’t get any easier. However, thanks to his super awesome Dad, I was able to distract him with a new Spider-Man action figure that Dad had in the basement. Which is totally cool, except for the fact that his hands come off so you can switch between fists, and Spidey fingers. Well, we lost one fist… Let’s just hope Joanna doesn’t find it first, as she puts EVERY LITTLE THING into her mouth! She’s like a little Hoover. Speaking of which, I really need to go downstairs and vacuum this morning, along with doing the dishes. These are the things I think about at 4:36 am.

I woke up this morning with such a bad, loose, and yucky cough. I’m so done with being sick. I feel like my family and I have been cycling through three, or four different colds and viruses since we went on Vacation back in January. It’s just been one after another. I’m so hoping this is the last one. I believe this is the one that Joey and Lucas are just getting over. Please, PLEASE don’t let the little get pinkeye!!!!!!

The point of this blog was supposed to explain how truly sad I am today. Last night I gave Joanna her last bath as a baby. I gave her, her last little baby hugs and snuggles. Last night I, as I said goodnight to my little baby girl, I cried my eyes out for a few minutes.  I cannot believe it’s been a year. What a whirlwind this year has been. I feel like we’ve done the best we possibly could at soaking up all of that BABY time. We juiced the newborn stage for a lot longer than just the first three months. She’s just starting to crawl, and pull herself up onto things, and wave bye bye now. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me. Maybe because in my heart I know that she is our last baby.

It’s bittersweet because I knew that I wanted more children years ago. However, I can’t have anymore. Mainly because any children my husband and I have together have a 75% chance of either having or carrying Lucas’ genetic disease. It’s just too risky. We were SO lucky to have been surprised by getting pregnant with Joanna when we did. If we hadn’t, then we would have NEVER tried for a baby after learning about Lucas, and Chronic Granulomatous Disease. She beat those odds, and that was the best news in the world.

She has brought this family so much joy. Joey is such a happy little baby, who is now starting to get into everything. I can’t complain, as Lucas did this much earlier. Joanna is sweet, she’s always smiling, and she’s just so beautiful. For some goofy looking people, Chris and I sure made some really gorgeous kids! Today we celebrate Joanna’s amazing transformation, and her ability to deal with her brother for one whole year. I can’t help but feel emotional. Truthfully, I just wanted her to stay a baby forever.

She was always the best baby. Eat, Sleep, Play, Repeat! Now she’s on the move, and her hair is growing out… I just feel like the next six months are gonna fly by, and she will just be so different. It’s all happening a little too fast for me. This Mama can’t stop the tears. Last night I said Goodnight to my baby… This morning I will say HELLO to my TODDLER!


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