Hyper Drive (Super Mom’s Auto Pilot)

That feeling over overwhelming exhaustion, mixed with that heightened sense of awareness. You know… The feeling of sleeping with one eye closed. That’s how I feel I am when I’m on vacation, or anywhere in public with my son. I’m constantly alert, and attentive to his needs. Because of this, I didn’t get good sleep. I’m lucky to have such amazing Mama traits. However, let me tell you… I’m pooped.

We came home almost a week ago now. Once we got into our own bed this past Sunday night, I felt that I was coming down from an incredible high. It was almost as if my 6th and 7th senses were shutting down. This allowed my mind to get the rest I so greatly needed. All week long, I admit. I’ve been lazy. I tackled the task of unpacking, doing a few loads of laundry, and getting Lucas back onto his medication routine.


Our boxes of clothes finally arrived, and I was able to get them all put away. The suitcases have gone back into their storage place. The traces of our Florida vacation are slowly disappearing. I’m so glad I blogged each day to keep up with those precious memories. I’m already starting to forget a lot of what happened. Maybe that’s because I’m just so busy right now. It’s time to file our taxes, and I have a lot of medical expenses to enter. My “to do” list just keeps growing. I went for a job interview the other day, and it was such a wonderful feeling. Accepting the offer I received was even more exciting.

Next week I begin training for my new position, with plenty of room to grow. I couldn’t be more pleased. February is a very busy month for us this year. Lucas begins his extensive Autism evaluation on the 11th, and I’m really looking forward to that. My own health suffered while we were on vacation, and I’m working hard to get back on track. This week has just been so hard. Lucas has had a difficult time transitioning back into being bored at home. Lots of physical aggression, and temper tantrums. He’s also pretty mad that he doesn’t have the control he had in Florida. Mom’s reigning it in, big time.


Sorry for the blurry pictures, but Lucas was SO excited to receive his BIG box from Disney World yesterday. It’s the train he HAD to have upon leaving his meeting with Mickey Mouse at the tail end of our trip. He’s pretty pumped about the train set, so I can’t understand why he wants to throw it around the house. Hopefully it’s just another phase.


It’s nice for him to have these special tokens, as reminders of the magical experience he had. We are still planning on decorating his new room upstairs, with the Give Kids the World theme! We even got some logos, and pictures from the village to help us do it! I was so excited to be sent the illustrator files, so I can fine tune what I want to put on his wall!


Joanna is just so happy, as always. She’s the go with the flow baby. She’s just about ten months old now. We have called early intervention to assess her development. Just to make sure that she is alright. We are thinking that she’s just a little lazy. Worried, we are not. We wanted to enjoy her as a baby, and thankfully we are not in a rush for her to grow up. She can stay a giant newborn for as long as she likes. We just want to make sure we are doing the right things with her. If she needs assistance, we want to know how to help.


Give Kids The World sent me an email with a close up picture of Lucas’ star. This is the exact one that is hung up in the Cupcake Realm (5A) in the Castle of Miracles. That was so nice of them to send this to me. It made me tear up. What a magical, and spiritual journey last week was for our family. We filled out a survey and made sure to mention the volunteers that went out of their way to make us feel special, just like family.


For some reason, Lucas and I had a miserable day today. Not quite sure why. I woke up too early, and he woke up grumpy. I got my Amazon returns shipped out, got my chiropractic adjustment, and then came home. Still feeling crumby, I decided that when Rachel got home, I was going to go out to visit a friend, and drop off some baby items to her. Before I went home, I stopped for a drink. That’s right, a margarita. Why not?


Lucas took his medicine soon after I got home, and both little kids were in bed shortly after 7pm. I was able to enjoy a chat with an old friend, and watched a TV show. I also made sure to call my husband to express my deepest apologies for being a nasty wife today. Luckily he’s a kind hearted soul, who of course forgave me. He does not deserve the attitude I gave him today. Reaching into my soul tonight, I realized what I’m upset about. I’m mad at myself. This whole week, I haven’t been working out, and I’ve been eating badly. While we were on vacation, my weight stayed down. In the past five days, I’ve gained five pounds. I’m eating like i’m still on vacation, without the physical activity.

I know what needs to be done, and I will do it. This weight loss journey of mine isn’t perfect, and I feel like I need to share that with all of you. Because I make mistakes too. I’m human, and I have bad habits that need to be broken. I need to remember to not be too hard on myself. I’m gonna pat myself on the back for realizing my situation, and give myself the push I need to dig myself out of this hole. I can do anything.

Tonight, I will sleep well. Tomorrow is a brand new day.



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