Anxious Tension

  
I’ve always been the anxious type, but never he hypertensive kind. Lately I’ve been having some health problems, and naturally… I’m scared! I have a long life to live! My kids need me, my family needs me… Yet, I feel like I’m falling apart. I have a history with anxiety for sure. However, I can usually talk myself out of a pure state of panic.

About a month and a half ago, I went to the doctors for dizziness that was pretty intense. He said I must have had a virus. 10 days later I went back for the same thing, and I wasn’t any better. He thought that maybe I was fighting a virus. He also stated that my sinuses were inflamed, so he put me on Augmentin and Meclazine. The Meclazine didn’t work for my dizziness at all. The augmentin gave me a yeast infection. I didn’t feel any better, but my blood pressure was perfect, 120/70.

So I went to my OB for treatment, and she confirmed and treated the infection. At that appointment they noticed that my blood pressure was elevated, (140/95) and at that time I was also having pretty awful headaches along with the dizziness. She suggested that I switch my primary care, and follow up with neurology. 
One morning I woke up with such a nasty headache that felt like the worst pain I’ve had since childbirth. My blood pressure was 145/100. When I got the ER it was just a little higher than that, and it went up and down, and back up while I was on the cardiac monitor. It was a long day, but my CT scan and MRI were clear, which was wonderful news for my head, but not my blood pressure. They said that it could be elevated because of the pain I had in my head. 

After that, I followed up with my old doctor who gave me some Xanax and told me that there are a lot of reasons for blood pressure to be high, and to watch my diet. Which I absolutely did, right away. When I met my new doctor, I felt like I was instantly in good hands. Had a physical, and we talked a bit. We decided that I should start therapy and medication management because I have a lot of overwhelming stress. So I got that rolling too, however that’s going to take weeks of counseling before I get medication help. 

This brings us to last week, and my blood pressure has still been high all that time. I noticed a swelling in the back of my calf, and figured it was just a muscle issue or something. The panic attacks I’ve been having have been causing such a problem that it began to be really difficult to tell the difference between panic and problem. So I went to the ER to rule out blood clots, as my mother has them. I don’t, which is great… But nobody has any idea why my bp is so high, and sometimes the symptoms of that are worse than any panic attack I’ve ever had.

I just want to be healthy. I want to be the best version of myself. I want to mother these kids for decades. I just don’t know why this is all happening to me. A month ago, my blood pressure was perfect. So why the sudden change? Why all the sudden heightened anxiety? I started Zoloft, and I’m hoping something helps. Soon.

I can feel in my body when my blood pressure spikes. I feel weak, shaky and what I call flighty. I’m very happy to be home snuggling my babies, but I can’t take care of them unless I’m healthy. I don’t know what they will look into next for me. I just hope to get a handle on the blood pressure. I feel like I can feel it in my head. I just want to feel awesome again! I’ve been losing weight and following a great health plan, and I just need to get back on track. 

I WANT TO BE OKAY

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