I never want to forget these moments. All the little ones. Lucas, my three year old son just grabbed my face and whispered to me. “I love you Mommy”, he said. He kissed me softly, four times. He even caressed my cheek. What a way to end my 31st birthday. Who cares that it’s 10:16 at night and he’s still awake. We’ve watched 5 cartoons. He should be sleeping, but who’s counting. One day he won’t want to co-sleep or breastfeed. Today, all he wants is his Mamma, and I am happy to devote my life to him. It sure beats cleaning the house!
I can’t believe this little man is gonna be Three on Saturday!! It’s also hard to believe that my 21st birthday was ten years ago! TEN YEARS AGO!? Where has the time gone? One thing for sure is that the past three years have been so worth every sacrifice I’ve made! I think it’s quite amazing that I can honestly say that I’ve never spent a night away from my boy! That’s devotion. It’s hard sometimes. Especially when I spend all morning, afternoon, evening, and night with him. I never get a break. By the time he’s asleep, I’m snoring. There is no “me” time. I don’t even know how I’m going to find the time to take two online classes this semester, but I will try. Sometimes I want to rip my hair out (what little I have left), but there is no place I’d rather be. I don’t know what Lucas’ future will be like. What I do know, is that he can count on me to be there for him every step of the way.
He’s my world. Yes, I have two other children. My daughters. However, I have never spent more time with anyone in my whole life, than I have with my boy. The days are long, and even though the nights seem longer, I wouldn’t change my life for anything. I love being this kids Mom! Even when I cry and scream because I don’t think I can get through the next day without having a mental breakdown. I love it. I love my life, I love my son, and I will continue to offer him every ounce of my being. He deserves it all, and I’m happy to be the one he chooses to spend each moment with! Someday things may be very different. I’m so tired. I think he is too… Maybe he will go to sleep after Paw Patrol. Maybe not? Maybe I will lose my mind. No matter what, I know that I am loved. I never want to forget these moments!